Let’s start off by saying I love TV, I really do, you can learn so much from TV shows. TV gives you an insight into what is going on in the world and it can teach you so much. TV taught me everything I know about love, I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it’s true. I bet if you think about it, something you saw on TV helped you in some way with your relationship whether good or bad. I want you to take a trip back in time with me and see how TV has helped develop my mind and help me become the relationship writer you see before you today.
Without divulging my age, we just met so I need to get to know you a little before I get that personal, as a kid in the 70’s, there was a cartoon/variety show called The Jackson 5ive about the Jackson’s, that one show taught me about heartbreak. I was in Love with Michael Jackson, not your average puppy love, more like stalk him on any TV show he was on, obsessed, bunny on the stove type love. I watched everything that featured Michael Jackson, so when they came out with the cartoon on Saturday mornings I was ecstatic.
The show started out with the real Jackson and then they morphed into cartoon characters, and sometimes they would interject the real Jackson 5 during a performance. I lived for those few moments to get a glimpse of my man. At the end of each show I would cry, so, every Saturday I had a routine, I would start off hyped at the beginning of the show and by the end of the show I would become totally depressed because I knew I would not see Michael Jackson again until next Saturday.
Crazy, a little bit, but I learned a valuable lesson about love, love can be the best thing you have ever felt but it can also cause you the most pain. The key is to appreciate the time you have with your mate and hold on to those feelings during those not so fantastic time, time moves so fast and you want to cherish every moment you have.
What has TV taught you about love?
In the 80’s there was this little show called the Cosby Show, for those unfamiliar with the premise of the show, it was about the Huxtable family, Cliff and Clair Huxtable. Cliff was a doctor, an obstetrician to be exact and Clair was a lawyer, they had five children and they were an affluent African-American couple on TV. As an African-American pre-teen this show showed me what black love was all about.
I saw very accomplished adults show nothing but absolute love for one another. They taught me the proper way to argue and make up with your mate. They taught me how to have fun with your mate and your kids and I learned about romance. I learned that having a family is not the end of your life, which I honestly thought as a pre-teen, having a family can be fun and very interesting.
Around the same time another show called A Different World gave my teenage eyes a look at what college and love was all about. The courtship between Whitley Gilbert and Dewayne Wayne was so intense and fantastic I wished everyday that I could have that kind of love.
They started off as friends and built a relationship, not withstanding a few bumps in the road, and ended up having the absolute best wedding in the history of weddings. What I learned from their courtship is taking things slow is not a bad thing. In the beginning Dewayne and Whitley struggled to get their relationship off the ground, they started off as friends and I believe because of that friendship they were able to sustain a real relationship once the relationship came into fruition.
Just because you want a relationship does not mean it’s time for that love affair to happen. Sometimes we have to go through a few rough patches and even date other seemingly perfect people to appreciate the person that was right for us all along. Now I don’t suggest crashing someone’s wedding saying “will you? Whitley I love you and if you will have me, I want you to be my wife, will you have me to be your lawfully wedded husband, please baby please”, even though it’s a beautiful gesture (to me), it may not go off as well as it did on the show. What really stands out to me was the episode before the wedding between Dewayne and Whitley, Dewayne says to Whitley “you taught me how to love”, she says “you taught mehow to love”, well guys, you both taught me how to love.
The 90’s brought about my legal status and Sex and the City, what that show taught me is that women don’t have to be ashamed about going after whatever it is you want. I’ve heard people, well mostly men, say that the show was all about sex, when I hear this I know for a fact, they didn’t watch the show. The show was about women exploring modern social issues like sexuality, femininity and relationships while maintaining great friendships.
I learned cosmopolitans were way to strong for me and also that enjoying sex was ok. Sex and the City broke every rule, it empowered women to accept our sexuality and not be afraid to show it. I also learned that you may have to go through a lot of different men and circumstances to find the one for you. Or in Samantha’s case you may realize that relationships are just not for you and the best lesson learned is whatever you decide, it’s ok because as long as you stay true to yourself nothing else matters. Sex and the City ultimately gave me the strength to just be me.
Do you remember any of these shows?
What shows touched your life?The millennium brought in the world of reality TV with shows like The Bachelor, Temptation Island and The Kardashians. These shows taught me what not to do to be in a relationship. The Bachelor/Bacheloretteis about women and men vying for someone’s love. The kicker is the bachelor/bachelorette gets to date a lot of people then on the finale they pick who they are in “love”with and propose. Needless to say out of all the couples on these shows only one is still married, the reason this does not work is you can’t fall in love with someone whilst, (now I’m British) ,dating other people.
Temptation Island brought actual couples to an island, separated them from each other then set out to tempt them with beautiful single people. How in love can you really be with your mate to agree to something like that? Either the couples wanted a free pass to cheat or they were looking for a reason to break-up. Trust me, no one truly in love with their mate could stand for anyone to touch the person they love so a show like this would never enter their mind to be on.
Keeping up with the Kardashian’swhat can you say about them, one is in what appears to be the most dysfunctional relationship ever and the other sister makes marriage look like a joke. I thought it was hilarious to hear someone say that after a mere 70 days of marriage they exhausted all possibilities to sustain a marriage.
Do you think you can find love on TV?
What reality TV taught me about love is absolutely nothing. None of them hold any value and tend to make a mockery out of love. Thank God I had the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s to see functional and loving relationships on TV. At the precious age of 38, we’ve been through a lot and gotten to know each other so I can reveal my age now, I learned patience, gained strength, saw people in my age group in love, experienced heartache, learned to appreciate family and my favorite…I learned how to love.
